Wine School
Five things learned


1. Carrying a fancy case of multiple wine glasses is required. 




Oh, so fancy. 



~*~


2. When using a spittoon, always spit with gusto.


Half-assed spitting will leave you slobbering like a spaniel. Don't do it.


~*~


3. Statements such as "It has a nose reminiscent of my grandfather's gym socks" are acceptable. 



Because there are no wrong answers when describing the sumptuous bouquet that is wine. Really. Gym socks are okay. 

~*~


4. The sugar content of wine grapes can be measured in degrees Balling. 




Not to be confused with bawling. 




A wine grape is a happy grape.


~*~


5. In the 1800's an American terrorist almost destroyed the entire wine industry. 




It was called phylloxera, an aphid-like root louse that decimated nearly all of the world's vines. 




Except Chile's. 




But America also produced a disgusting, phylloxera-resistant grape vine onto which we can graft better grape varieties. 




So we're okay now. 




And that's something to drink to. 


CHEERS!


Style Inspiration: 






Please drink responsibly and adhere to the age restrictions of your country.